What, exactly, is cool? It's been my personal philosophy that cool is nothing to aspire to - too often it seems that cool comes at the price of mockery. Declaring cool requires something else to be inherently UNcool, and I've never liked that. It is the same as my philosophy with sports - cheer FOR your team, don't cheer AGAINST the other team. Turns out the other team consists of human beings too, not demons. Except maybe for the Pittsburgh Steelers, they test my resolve on that.
So yes, I've been all hippie about it - like what you like, but don't disdain other people for liking something else. I thought I had it down!
But recently, my husband has been applying and interviewing for jobs across the country, and after analyzing the ball of stress in my stomach, I've realized my concern.
I feel like we're not cool enough.
I know, it seems ridiculous. But having lived in KY all my life, the thought of moving to a city like Portland or Seattle had my stomach in knots. I'd have to make NEW friends. I wouldn't have 5 sisters within 100 miles to lean on. I have a southern accent and slightly crooked teeth and I feel guilty at the thought of spending more than $30 on a pair of jeans. How would all this translate to the people we'd be meeting?
Thank heaven my husband would never dream of moving to California - clearly L.A. would eat me alive.
But as the process has wound on, I've started to settle down a bit. Thank goodness for unlimited calling, so at least the sisters will still be in contact a lot. And maybe having to make new friends would get me out of my shell a bit - I've definitely been a bit lazy on the friendship front for, oh, the last 5 or 6 years.
Nothing is certain yet. But even though I have never once in my life been cool, I know I'm brave enough to handle whatever comes our way.